just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Randomize
