I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
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It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
We don't watch enough power rangers
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
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Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
And then the night went full on bisexual.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
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