Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
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