it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
