Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
