aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
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