so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
