Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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