tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
