Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Randomize
