I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Two words: blizzard sex
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
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