so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
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