i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
