I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
