I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
