You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
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