seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Randomize
