My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
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He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
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Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
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