North Korea, Best Korea!
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
