i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
