Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
