I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
