I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
You did what with his pubic hair?
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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