I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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