Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I just sucked dick on a ferry
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