If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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