Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Are we still banned from the library?
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
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