So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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