I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
