So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Randomize
