I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
