no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
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