Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
