Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
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