May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
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