about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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