Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
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Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
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you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
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