so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize