so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize