you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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