doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
