If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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