Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Randomize
