Midget sex pt 2 tonight
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
