So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize