I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
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