i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Randomize