i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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