i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
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