Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
