I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Randomize
