I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
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