I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
