so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
It was like getting head from an anaconda
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He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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