Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
