I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
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